‘…the said decree was made final and absolute and that the said marriage was thereby dissolved.’
Just like that. The most bland, nondescript piece of paper bearing a few understated words. ..‘the said marriage was thereby dissolved.’
Dissolved.
No more.
As though it never was.
But it was.
Think of the energy and effort that goes into the making of a marriage.
First, there’s the long search to find that perfect partner. Then you learn to love each other. You decide to make it permanent. Months are spent planning that perfect wedding day. Years are spent building a life together. Homes are found, purchased and filled with things that reflect the journey you’ve collectively been on. Children are discussed, conceived and brought into the world. Jointly you raise them from sleepless nights as babies to sleepless nights as teens. Holidays, jobs, friends, family, deaths, adventures, life. It all happens in this shared unit.
Together you write a story that may not be perfect, but it’s real. It’s earned.
The collective emotion and ridiculous amount of work that goes into creating a marriage and a family is so extraordinary that it should be revered, put in a museum case with a label saying: A complex work of art, sculpted over 20 years, with layers of depth invisible to the casual observer.
Then things go wrong. It’s not an overnight decision. That in itself is a multi-chapter narrative containing twists and heart wrench and extraordinary amounts of pain. It is all part of this story the two of you write.
With such a life opus, you might expect it to build to a powerful, thunderous conclusion. Yet by the power vested in an unseen, unnamed person in a law court, that story is ended. With a single sentence. No final fanfare or even a trumpet voluntary. Just a piece of paper to go in the filing cabinet.
It feels like it deserves more. That the life we had deserves more. That I deserve more. Not this bland, impersonal statement of fact that neatly concludes the bulk of my life.
Next week I will be celebrating the end of what was and the start of what will be by drinking too much champagne with friends. But for now, I will look at my bland piece of paper for a while and acknowledge it for all that it represents.
And then, I will file it away.
